Over the last couple of weeks I have learned so much about myself.
I have come to realize that my decisions and actions not only affect me but it affects my family.
Not to say that I didn't know all this before, but sometimes it takes a hardship to make you realize it. My hubby and I do our very best to care and provide for our daughter, it never fails that the moment you think you are a head is the same moment you realize you have just begun.
Over the last month I have learned not only to trust in my hubby knowing that he would never let anything happen to us, but also to trust in the lord. It's been a hard thing for me to trust. There has been so much tragedy in my life that sometimes it makes you question. For me growing up in a home where I was told that church is for loser's and Christian's are nothing but judgmental. It really makes it hard to believe.
I gave my heart to Jesus 5 years ago in march. I have loved him and tried my very best to right by him. But still deep down you question, if God really loves you then why must he cause you so much pain. Why must he make you decide. I would never deny him and I'm learning to trust him.
Now after having my daughter, I kinda have a better understanding of the love that he has for us. I would do anything for Isabel, just the same as God would do for me. But then you think, I cant protect her from everything and she has learn somehow. If I where to do everything for Isabel how would grow and learn. She wouldn't and that's when I realized that God is doing the same for me. IF he was to protect me from tragedy, I wouldn't be a christian, I wouldn't have met my husband and I wouldn't have my beautiful daughter. I may never understand the plan God has for me and my family,
but i do know that I love him and I will trust in him whole heartily.
1 To you, O LORD, I lift up my soul; 2 in you I trust, O my God. Do not let me be put to shame, nor let my enemies triumph over me. 3 No one whose hope is in you will ever be put to shame, but they will be put to shame who are treacherous without excuse.
7 The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song.
14 But I trust in you, O LORD; I say, "You are my God."
3 Trust in the LORD and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.